


Better Than Any Fantasy

by nazangel



Series: Carry On Countdown 2019 [14]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Bisexual Simon Snow, Confessions, Gay Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, M/M, Sketches, Soft Boys, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Is Gay for Simon Snow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:01:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21764167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nazangel/pseuds/nazangel
Summary: Simon finds some of Baz's sketches of him. His reaction isn't what Baz had expected.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Carry On Countdown 2019 [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1554211
Comments: 6
Kudos: 132
Collections: Carry On Countdown 2019





	Better Than Any Fantasy

**SIMON**

I didn't mean to see it.

I've seen him write and doodle in his notebook before, always with it turned away from me. I'm curious as to what he's doing, but even I have my boundaries. No matter how much I'm convinced that he's plotting, there are some lines I wouldn't cross.

Going through someone's private diary is too much, even for me.

So, I really didn't mean to see it.

I'd been looking for a paper of mine through all the clutter on my desk when my elbow had knocked over Baz's neat stack.

I curse as I quickly pick up his things. As I pick his leather-bound journal, a pape slips out.

It was a drawing, a very familiar drawing.

It was me.

In the picture, I was shirtless and lying renaissance style on the sheets, with the sheets covering my waist to my mid-thigh.

I looked...I looked good.

Why would Baz draw me like this? Was it a trick? No, it couldn't be. He's always hidden the contents from me.

Despite my better judgement, I opened the journal. Skipping over the writing I only looked at the drawings. Specifically drawings of me. There I was, writing, laughing, smiling and generally just doing normal things. There was even one of me stuffing myself with scones. Baz somehow made me look beautiful doing that too.

It didn't make sense. Could it be that he liked me? That didn't make sense either.

The last collage of pictures answered the question for me.

It was the only page that involved him too. In one corner, we were holding hands, at the bottom edge we were looking at each other with smiles on our faces. At the side of the page, he as leaning against a brick wall with him leaning over me. At the bottom, we were lying together in the grass.

Framed by all these doodles is a picture of us kissing. It was just our faces and my hand. Our lips are carefully melded together, and my hand is cupping his cheek, the one not turned toward the viewer.

The pictures have a soft, wavery quality to them like they are from someone's dream.

Did Baz dream of this? Is this his fantasy?

I was still trying to figure it out when the door clicked shut behind me.

Turning around, I came face to face with a shocked and angry looking Baz.

**BAZ  
**

He found it.

Of course, he found it! Snow has no concept of privacy!

I stomp forward and grab the things from him.

"You couldn't leave it well enough alone, could you?" I snarl

"Baz- no. I didn't-" he starts, waving his hands and looking at me beseechingly, "I don't-"

I don't want to hear the rest of it. I turn around and stalk out of the room.

I walk and walk until I'm at the edge of the woods. There I sit down on the rocks and let my head fall into my hands.

What's he going to do now? Would he tell people? Would he make fun of me? Or would he just ignore it? Which one's worse?

"Agh," I grunt and throw the journal on the ground.

This was a disaster.

I had fantasies of him finding out and telling me he felt the same way. I would bring him flowers, and he would thank me with a small kiss. Or we would finally snap and kiss each other, ending up together in bed. There was one where _he_ confessed and asked me out on a date.

But they're only fantasies. I know he's never going to love me the way I love him.

And now he knows _exactly_ how much I love him.

Tears gather in my eyes as the severity of the situation finally hits me. Simon knows now. He could tell anyone. He could decide to finally make my life miserable. He could-

"Baz," says a hesitant voice from near me.

Snow's standing there, a sheepish look on his face. His hands are shoved into his pockets and he's fidgeting on his feet.

"What do you want," I ask, sounding as defeated as I feel.

He's silent for a moment before speaking.

"I really didn't mean to see it," He says softly, "It fell off your desk when I was looking through my stuff. The loose one fell out and well...after seeing that how was I not supposed to be curious,"

I snort but keep quiet. He did have a point.

"And I didn't read or look at anything else," he continues, "I only looked at the pictures you drew of me...and you,"

"Right," I say

There's silence again and Snow comes to sit beside me.

"What are you doing," I ask him

"Sitting," he answers

"Snow-"

"You like me?"

He's looking at me with curious eyes. I look for any malice but his eyes clear.

"I think that much is obvious,"

"You know I've never thought of you that way," he says, "But it's kinda sweet. Do you really think I'm that pretty? Because honestly, I don't look as good as in the mirror as I do in those drawings,"

All I can do is stare at him.

"Snow I can't tell whether you're letting me down easy or-you know what I have no idea what you're doing,"

Snow smiles at me, that bright smile that makes my heart beat fast.

**SIMON**

It hadn't taken long to make my decision. Only five minutes to be exact.

Five minutes is all it took to look at my feelings and think if the conclusion I wanted to this whole event.

The fastest decision I have ever made, and it still feels right.

Poor Baz, though. He looks so confused.

**BAZ**

Snow is still smiling when he answers and nearly stops my heart.

"What I'm trying," he says, "Is to get you to ask me out on a date,"

My jaw drops open and I'm left speechless.

**SIMON**

I think I might have broken him

**BAZ**

"Hey Baz," says Simon, waving his hand in my face, "Are you still here? Do I need to take you to the infirmary?"

I snap myself out of it and stare at him incredulously.

"What do you mean, ask you out on a date? You're not gay. What about Agatha? And where would we even go on a date here?"

Simon smiles, "I mean, ask me out on a date. I'm not gay. I'm bi. Figured it out when I first saw you shirtless. Agatha and I broke it off, mutual decision and if you're smart enough to be head of the class, you're smart enough to figure something out for a date,"

I stare at him, once again rendered speechless

**SIMON**

Did I break him again?

"Did I break you again?"

"I'm still stuck on me shirtless being your bisexual awakening,"

"Trust me I was surprised too," I tell him

"You really want to go on a date with me," he asks, looking a little shy

It's unusual and adorable, solidifying my decision to give us a chance. After all, its not every day you find a boy that spends his time doodling you in his secret notebook, all because fo how much he likes you.

"Yeah," I tell him

His face brightens, and my heart skips a beat.

Without intending to, I slide my hand in his.

**BAZ**

I'm holding hands with Simon Snow.

Merlin Above, I'm holding hands with Simon Snow.

I have to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming again.

Nope, Simon Snow is definitely holding my hand right now.

"We should probably head back," he says

I nod, not trusting myself to speak.

We walk back together, still hand in hand, and surprisingly we don't run into anybody on the way back to our room.

When we get back, we spend some more time sitting on my bed and talking. Simon tells me about some of the mischiefs he and Penelope get into, and I tell him about my family and my the little terrors that are my siblings.

We finally decide to go to sleep when the clock strikes midnight.

As he gets off my bed, Simon bends down to kiss my cheek, making the skin tingle under his lips.

This is definitely better than any fantasy I have ever had.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed!


End file.
